my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
