just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
