i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Randomize
