I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
