it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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