im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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