porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize