Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
