Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Randomize
