I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
