Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize
