dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
