So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
my shit smells like andre
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
