all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
