Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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