why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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