Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
They left me at home... I'm a liability
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
