I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Randomize
