And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
