ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
