i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
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