biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
We are two peas in an std pod
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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