How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
