Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize