using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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