he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Randomize
