We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Randomize