Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
