Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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