just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
