i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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