i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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