shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
