I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
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