also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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