they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Randomize
