Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Randomize
