Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
