mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
