just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
