good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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