dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
