I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
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