That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Randomize
