the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
so much tequila, so little girl.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
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