I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
