I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
