Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
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