Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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