Small penises have feelings too.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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