All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
