i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
You can't just leave with hair like that
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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