Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Randomize
