It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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