Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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