I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
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