the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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