It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
