you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
